Friday, June 22, 2012

Then Sings My Soul

Then sings my soul My Savior God to thee, How great thou art How great thou art
Then sings my soul My Savior God to thee, How great thou art How great thou art

Every since I was a little girl, this was my favorite hymn. The concept of my soul, the very essence of me, the part that matters most, singing-- rejoicing, worshiping, loving, crying out--  to my Creator, my Savior... well, it touched me. Thankfully, this song is also a favorite of millions around the world, and has been translated into almost every language. Whether I am in my church in the US, visiting the underground church in Vietnam, sitting in a Thai church, or worshipping with the Karen, every one has sang this song and I always feel like it is a special gift from God to me. I am sometimes overwhelmed that God would grant me the smallest desires of my heart, just so I know how much He loves me. What a Good God we serve.

It has been a hard week. One filled with a lot of pain. Even in the midst of the most hurt, we can see God's sovereign hand at work. It is hard to let go of things and when I do not understand, but I can hear God whispering "Trust me. I have no abandoned these people and I will not leave them now." A few nights ago, the camp manager and I had a worship night, just to come before God and let out all the insecurities and emotions overwhelming us at the time. If you know me, you know my emotions can control my actions-- often not in a fruitful way. After telling God my plan on how to fix the problem, after telling God how I cannot let go--- not of this, not of them-- He spoke to me. "He alone can Rescue and He alone can save" (lyrics from Matt Redman) and "In the chaos and confusion, You Are Sovereign..." (lyrics from Hillsong). There are some days where I literally have to repeat to myself, "God is sovereign. God is sovereign. God is sovereign..." I can trust in my Savior. He will not abandon His children.

We have recently had four children removed from our school. Please keep TaPoeTu, KaPawShi, Pache, and Chigue in your prayers.

A few weeks ago, a farmer in Burma, SaePo, walked into a landmine while chasing his cow. He was carried by soldiers to over the mountains, taken on a boat, then driven to Chiang Mai to receive hospital care. Two nights ago, he died leaving behind a wife and 6 children. His only family in Thailand, his eldest son, age 20, is going to Bible School in MaeLa Refugee camp. This boy has no ID, no papers, but we knew it was important for him to come to his father's funeral so we decided to bring him, hoping with two white faces in the car, we could pass through Thai checkpoints easily. We had no problems at all until the very last checkpoint before Chiang Mai. The driver and I nervously rolled down the window and put on smiling faces, trying to play it cool. The soldier took flashed light and shined it in our faces, shined it in the back and then asked to see her driver's license. This, of course, struck fear into her heart that he would ask for all our papers, discover our secret, and we'd spend the night in jail, but he glanced at her license and let us go. We let out a sigh and a "Glory, Hallelujiah" as soon as the window was rolled up. God must have made HehDohMu, the Karen boy, invisible because the soldier talked to me and the driver, but didn't say a word about the boy-- though obviously not Thai. God is so good! Thank you to those who were in prayer!
The family is in need of help, if you are interested in helping or supporting the family, contact me and I will let you know how you can do so.

Though it has been a hard week, I have peace in my heart. I wish I could put into words how absolutely amazing Jesus is... How He reveals His power and glory and love and hope to such insignificant and undeserving people-- people like me. I fall down on my face in worship, Lord Jesus, take this life, my feeble offering, and use it as you will.

To God be the Glory Forever and Ever, Amen!

Revelation 5:11-13


Then I looked and heard the voice of many angels, numbering thousands upon thousands, and ten thousand times ten thousand. They encircled the throne and the living creatures and the elders. In a loud voice they were saying:
“Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain, 
    to receive power and wealth and wisdom and strength
    and honor and glory and praise!”
Then I heard every creature in heaven and on earth and under the earth and on the sea, and all that is in them, saying:
“To him who sits on the throne and to the Lamb 
    be praise and honor and glory and power,
for ever and ever!”






Sunday, June 17, 2012

Only He can Rescue, Only He can Save

It would be easy to write a blog sticking to only the happy parts of life in Thailand-- talking about the revival in the young people, the increasing interest in the young Buddhist villagers, and the growth of friendship with the KNU soldiers-- but to be honest, alot of life really is hard, and sometimes, really sad. Today my heart is broken, and I don't want to hide that from you. Though worlds apart, you are my family, a fellow part of my Christian body, and therefore a necessary source of strength during difficult times. So I'm asking you, brothers and sisters, please help me. I am desperate for your prayers.
There is much that I had planned to tell you. So much I want to share, but today I am at a loss for words. For those who have been "missionaries" perhaps you understand what I mean.
While I am everyday reminded of the goodness of God and the glory He deserves, many days my heart is broken for these people that I have come to love in a way that I did not know my heart was capable of.
I see the disrespect they endure from other people.
I see the disrespect they have for themselves.
I see the extreme poverty they struggle to overcome.
I see tumors and sickness that I know will soon take the life of the child they cling to.
I see the people clinging to a hopeless religion of Buddhism, which has such evil associated with it, it's terrifying.
I see the fear in the eyes of the people.
I see the hopelessness.
I see the need.
They need hope. They need peace. They need love.
They need Jesus Christ.

Just last week, a man-- who had been sick for some time-- decided to end his life. He left behind a wife and three children (ages 10,9,5). I happened to be in the village the day he died and was able to go visit the wife (and the body of the man, as part of the culture they stay one night in the house) and pray with her and give her money, although she is Buddhist. It is not in Karen culture in cry in public, but as I held her hand and prayed, the tears rolled down her face.

Three of our students have an abusive father. The stress of it weighs heavily on the oldest of the three, the 11 year old girl, as she watches her mother get beat up while trying to protect her two younger siblings. She came back after a weekend at home and you could just see the shadow over her face. We pulled the three aside after church one day to tell them we know what is happening at their house and we love them and will help in anyway we can. The girl just started to cry. For an hour I just held her in my arms as she wept, brushing her tears away, giving her kisses, and telling her how much God and I love her.

We just suffered a tragedy in the camp. I am unable to go into detail, but my it literally feels like someone drop-kicked me in the heart. I know that no amount of tears can undo what's been done and that things will never be the same. It feels like a piece of me has died. Even through the pain I can see God working. I can rejoice in His Sovereignty. God knows what He is doing, even if His plans are sometimes painful.


Many of you may say how lucky the people are to have me here. Please don't. There is nothing special about me. I am just an ordinary girl who is doing what God told her to do. I am so grateful that God can work in spite of me. I am humbled that He lets me love these people with a heart that would, without question, give my life's blood for them. God gets all the glory for ANYTHING good. ONLY HE CAN SAVE THESE PEOPLE. And they need saving. They desperately, desperately, DESPERATELY need JESUS.

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding..."