Jesus, All for Jesus

Well, I'm not where to begin, or end, seeing as the time for goodbyes has come and gone. The past week has been a blur or me praying that the days pass slowly while at the same time wishing it would end quickly because knowing you have to say goodbye and watching the moment approach is the worst feeling ever. I was asked countless times by the people when I was coming back, to which I would answer, "I don't know? But pray that God gives me money so I can come back soon!" All of my friends at Pastor Jimmy's and the KT are praying that I return. I do not doubt that I will.
It seems so funny to me that everyone is so concerned that when I go to America, I will forget them. Though we have parted physically, they will always live with me in my heart. I told them many times I will always, always remember them, and I hope they would remember me too.
The day before it was time to say goodbye, was my birthday, April 23rd. Oh my goodness they spoiled me so much! For about 3 days beforehand, the little girls would give me necklaces and make me flower wreaths and sing to me. Sigh. I will treasure those moments forever. Later that day, we took all the kids from the Vacation Bible School up to Maei National Park to eat cake (a super special treat for these kids-- they rarely get sugar, let alone cake!) and swim and play in a waterfall. It was amazing and they were SO happy. We took 3 truck fulls aka there were about 30-40 people in the back of each truck bed. Gotta love the lack of any traffic laws-- sure saves on the gas money it would take to bring a bus out here. After we returned, it was time to say goodbye to the kids from Pastor Jimmy's camp, as well as to Pastor Jimmy and his family. Jimmy is an amazing man of great, great faith. I enjoyed talking to him and hearing his many many stories about how God has provided for him and supplied his every need. I'd grown very close to his daughters (age 14 and 12), it was hard to say goodbye to them. Such beautiful girls! And both with so much spirit!
The rest of the afternoon was quiet as most of the kids were tired and the number of kids had decreased by more than half. I tried to soak up every moment and memorize every leaf and sound to keep with me always. I ate my last Karen dinner of rice and fish paste with my hands, even though "farang" (foreigners) are not supposed to. Worship that night was amazing. There was a storm coming in that knocked the power out, so we worshipped in the dark with a candle and a flashlight. We sang for a longer time than normal because the darkness kept us from doing anything else. I think it was God's gift to me. The last song we sang was "How Great Thou Art," my favorite hymn. I am so blessed that God grants me the desires of my heart and fills me with joy in times when there could be great sorrow.
That night in the girls dorm we stayed up late playing and taking pictures. We giggled and laughed and tickled until the candles were all burnt out and the children fell asleep. I could not sleep though. Eventually I crawled over the girl sleeping on the bunk with me and sat on the swing overlooking the camp- my favorite place to think and pray. Oh my heart hurt...
We had worship at 6:30. While we were still singing some of the children and teachers laid hands on me and prayed while the others continued to sing to Jesus. Who am I to be loved by these amazing people? The tears started then and did not stop until we were driving away. After worship, we loaded the truck, and I hugged each of the children, gave them a kiss (or many) and told them "YaEhNa" which means "I love you" in Karen. They all would reply "I love you" and give me a kiss on both cheeks, my forehead and chin and tell me "God bless you!" As we drove away, I waved and blew them kisses. My body felt (and still feels) physically sick and in pain. I told the teachers (all ages 17-21) that it felt like someone ripped out my heart and stomped on it. I miss my brothers and sisters very much. They've all become so dear to me.
Now I am in Chiang Mai waiting to fly out at 7 pm tonight to Bangkok, where I will sleep until I fly out at 7 am tomorrow morning. It's going to be a long, lonely, sad trip home, and I ask that you pray for safety as I travel back across the world.

Prayer Requests:
For the chilren and teachers at the camps, that they know they are not forgetton, but loved.
For the many sick children, that they would be healed.
For the Karen people as a whole-- that they could not live in fear but rest in the arms of Jesus.
That the Thai police, Buddhist army, and Burmese army would stop persecuting them.
That their faith would continue to grow and spread to everyone in Northern Thailand.
For me as I return to the US and try to fit back into American culture.

Thank you so much for everyone who has been praying for me and these children. I told them many times that the American people love them and are praying for them-- you should see the smiles on their faces. I pray you all are able to experience the joy and faith these people have-- I know it will change your life.

The song "Jesus, All for Jesus" has been on my heart. I will share only a few lyrics with you:

All of my ambitions, hopes and plans
I surrender these into your hands
For it's only in your will that I am free
For it's only in your will that I am free

I don't know what my future holds, but I know that I don't want to settle for a "normal" life. Why be ordinary when we serve an Extraordinary God??!!!!