Break My Heart for What Breaks Yours

A few weeks ago, a girl gave me a copy of a Hillsong cd. Amazing how wonderful listening to Christian music from home can be. My favorite song on the disk, Hosanna in the Highest, has been played over and over again in my head and my heart.
Take my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdom's cause
As I walk from earth into eternity

As I make this song my hearts cry, God has given me my heart's desire and brought many opportunities for me to show His love to His people. A few weeks ago, TaPoeTu, a student at Shekinah, came to me after visiting his mother's house. "My parents have no rice," he said. "My mother told me to ask you for help. My brother has already left and she has no one to help her work." In a culture where I have to beg the people to let me help them, it was a delight to know that his mother recognized I could help her and let me do so.
A few days ago, a woman came to visit her husband, a Karen soldier who lives near the camp. She told one of our teachers that she has six children but is so poor, she can only feed them white rice and chilies. I gave her 300 baht for food. Yesterday I saw her again and was greeted with a "GwaLuggy Tharamu! (Good morning teacher)" It was wonderful to see her and her children carries bags of food and veggies. At the same time, I was convicted that I had no prayed for her when I gave her the money! The first time we met, I saw the Buddhist strings on her children's wrists (to ward off evil spirits). The second time, they were not their. Pray that God can touch her heart despite my failure to tell her more about Him!
On Saturday, I visited MaeLa refugee camp for the first time. It is registered with the UN so those who live there (if their names are written down) can get a bag of rice, beans, fish paste every month and one blanket a year-- which is not near enough to live on. It is sickening to know how long the UN has known about the suffering and does nothing to help-- not even to make awareness! Well, I will not be silent. I went with PahSehMo, our cook, her son, and LahKaHtoo. We went to visit one of the teachers from Shekinah, NawLahEh who lives in MaeLa during summer break. After a morning of meandering through the shops and exploring the camp, we went to her house. On our way we passed the Bible College that our teachers during the VBS had come from. They are wonderful, intelligent, and loving Christian people. I was excited to attend their opening ceremony in June. Not ten minutes after arriving at NawLaEh's house, we heard a loud CRACK. Everyone ran outside to see a huge black pillar of smoke rising from the Bible College. It was on fire.
We all took off running to help. One of the boys grabbed me and told me to stay back. He was afraid I might get hurt. I told him I came to Thailand to help the Karen people, not watch them suffer. He tried to stop me a few times, but eventually saw my determination to not just stand by and let me go. It was so heartbreaking. There were hundreds of people gathered round. Every house nearby was being evacuated of all belongings. Since the roofs are made of dried leaves, all the men were on the roof, breaking the roofs with their feet. The women were trying to soak their houses with buckets of water. Meanwhile dozens of men were beating the fire with shirts and blankets, pouring sand, pouring what little water they had on the huge flames.
After more than an hour of men risking their lives to save the Bible School, the Thai soldiers and fire truck arrived. That is also when the Americans showed up-- not to help, but to take pictures. I heard one girl say to a Karen girl, "I bet it will smell like campfire for a while, huh?!" and another man, "Well I've seen enough. Are you ready to go?" They didn't ask if anyone was hurt. They didn't ask if they could help. If they could pray. If they could give money to the teachers who had lost all of their belongings...
After the fire was all out and we made sure there were no injuries, LahKuHtoo and I talked to a student at the Bible College and asked about what was lost. Thankfully, all the teachers were at a wedding in another village so no one was in the buildings that were burnt down, but all of their clothes and belongings were lost. The student himself now only owned the clothes on his back and his computer. The 6 or so buildings that were burned down held books and computers and Bibles and food. I saw some people scraping fallen rice off of the ground. These people are poor and never waste food. I gave the student, Hser Nay Wah, 1000 baht for him and the teachers to buy some of their immediate needs-- clothes, hygiene products, food, etc. We also prayed together that God would make a way for the school to be rebuilt. If the funds and materials do not come in, they may have to cancel school for the year. Pray for the school called KKBBSC.
When we got back to Shekinah, LahKuHtoo had to leave us to live with his grandmother and help her at the house. He has experienced God greatly in the past 3 weeks he stayed at Shekinah and he desperately wants to be baptized and serve God. However his grandmother is a faithful Buddhist. He is her favorite grandson and she is set in making him a Buddhist monk. On Sunday after church, Mob, LerGay, and I went to visit LahKuHtoo at his grandmother's house. I asked her about Buddhism and her life in Burma and prayed God would give me an opportunity to share Jesus with her. He did and I was able to tell her about Jesus' birth, death, and resurrection. It was the first time she'd ever heard it. She is still dedicated to being Buddhist, but we were able to pray together, LahKuHtoo and I with her and for her. Pray that God touches her heart and that LahKuHtoo has the courage to follow God and be baptized- no matter the cost!
I tell you these stories, not to bring any praise to me. If God had not brought me here and opened my eyes, I would be of no use. I do want you to know though, my friends, that if you send money, most of it is going directly to the Karen people who need it most. Yesterday I was told about three Karen soldier posts near Shekinah. These men are so poor, they do not even have shoes. They also have been eating only broken, white rice and chilies-- not a substantial meal for a soldier. I plan on bringing them canned fish, coffee, and shoes tomorrow. (Coffee since many nights they are on watch and do not get to sleep.) If God has touched your heart with a love for these people who so desperately need help, please contact me or my mother. I have only about 1500 thai baht right now-- about 50 USD. Right now, my needs are provided for, but I can no ignore the needs of those around me. Please help. Please pray that God continues to open doors for me to pray and share Jesus with His people. There are many who do not believe. So many who have no hope. My prayer is to help provide them with earthly food, but let God give them the Bread of Life so they will never go hungry.

1 John 3:17 If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?

James 2: 15-17 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food.  If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?  In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

Home

Where to start...? It seems like there is so much going on, if I try to remember it all, I'll be on the computer for days!
Nina, my cousin, has been with me for the past 2 weeks and it has been WONDERFUL! Such a joy for me to share a piece of my heart with her this way. of course, the children and teachers love her and she has adapted to the lifestyle without any problems. Praise God that she was able to come! Please pray for her as she returns home next week and has only 2 days to recover from jet-lag before life continues on for her!
As for me, I am fine. Have been to 4 doctors for my toes, none of which are sure of what exactly the problem is. I am currently at the best hospital in Chiang Mai which has taken lab samples of my skin and seems more confident that they will be able to treat me. However, when you get the best care, it costs a lot of money. Already, I had spent over $200 on traveling to the hospital, examinations, and medicine. The bill at this hospital was for an additional $100. Praise the Lord for a new friend I have made, another young missionary woman, who paid the bill for me. We have only met a few days ago, but already have become good friends. I am SO grateful for her friendship and encouragement and honestly, and this act of kindness was overwhelming. God is too good to me! After all's been said and done, with traveling, hotel, food, and medical bills, I had to pay almost 500 USD which is a serious dent in my pocket. Money is such a small thing compared to my big God, I am not even worried about it! He has provided everything for me and I know this is where I am supposed to be. Please pray that God touches the hearts of people who love the Karen and want to support God's ministry through me here.
The VBS ended yesterday. Only a few kids from Shekinah and Pastor Jimmy's were able to come, but many village kids heard the singing and came to join us. Dozens were there by the end which is SO wonderful because their village, YaKwaDee, is all Buddhist. Also, an older brother of one of our kids, LerGay (age 17), came and asked me if I could teach him more about the Bible. I told him about our VBS and after the first day, he called his friend, Luckatoo (age 20), and told him he had to come and learn hear the Bible teaching. Luckatoo came with Buddhist strings on both wrists, but after one week of hearing the teaching, he said he felt God changing his heart and cut off the strings. Now VBS is finished and they both asked to stay longer to learn more! Such an amazing thing to see God draw people to Himself! It is their summer holiday, and they want to stay at a children's home and study instead of stay at home with friends and family. Keep these two in your prayers-- I believe God has great things planned for them!
2 weeks ago, in Chiang Mai, God brought a thought that I had been mulling over in February, but dismissed, back to the forefront of my brain. I want to be at Shekinah Children's home for Christmas. All week long, I could not get the idea out of my head. The more I prayed about it, the more it seemed like the only actual option. These people are my family. If I can bring them joy, my sweat, blood, and tears are worth it. I find myself calling Shekinah "home" without even thinking about it. It really does feel like home this time. I cannot even imagine going back to the U.S. now. I am starting to pick up the language more and understand the culture so much more. God has brought me here, and I know there is so much more for me to do, see, and learn here before I go.
Yesterday, I went in the kitchen to help sift through the bags of rice and remove any stones or rotten rice. After we were finished, I got the broom and swept the floor. This would seem like no big deal to us-- but for the Karen to have an English person "humble themselves" and do this was shocking to them! One boy said, "You are not like an English girl!" Another took a picture of me. I wanted to scream "I am not an English girl! I did not come to live with the Karen people for them to serve me! I came to serve them!" Nothing brings me greater joy than when they smile and me and say "You are not GawLohWa (white person), you are PohKanYoh (Karen)."
I am so overjoyed to be here. Even though I often go to bed exhausted, God wakes me up with His peace everyday. Seeing the smiles on the children's faces when we play or the teachers when we tease each other... there is nothing greater. I am so honored to be loved by these people. I am so humbled for God to allow me to be known by them. If God asked me to give my life to save one of their's, I would do so willingly.
Please pray that God touches the hearts of people who are meant to partner with me in this journey!
Please pray for the medical bills and insurance to be sorted out!
Please pray for NeeLehOo, a ten year old boy extremely sick with Malaria-- it's been more than a week, which can be deadly out here!!
Please pray for LerGay and Luckatoo that their hearts and minds remain open to God and His plan for them.

To God be the Glory!
God bless!
Kelsey- a bondslave of Christ

Expect the Unexpected

If there's one thing I've heard from every experienced person in the mission field, it is to expect the unexpected. Things are going to change quickly and you just have to go with the flow! And know that God has His sovereign hand on everything-- wanting you to trust Him. So when the woman who ministers at the camp full-time told me she needed help in May and June, I was quick to think through if I could make that work... financially, it's possible, visa-wise, it's possible, etc etc. Then when I mentioned the request to the woman who funds the camp, she said "Why are you going back so early? There's no reason for that! You should just stay til September!" After a little research from her husband, we discovered it only cost 1000 baht (about 30 USD) to buy a triple entry visa-- allowing me to stay in Thailand for 6 months.
6 months?? That is a LOT longer than I was ready for... but I waited for the feeling of defeat to take over, and it never did. The more I prayed about, the more peace I felt. When I closed my eyes, I saw Jesus' hand reaching out me, asking me to take hold and trust Him-- even though I don't know what to expect. Ok Lord, you got me. I am yours. Take me for all that I am, for what little I am, and use me as you will. I am clay in your hands, mold me into something beautiful that reflects your handiwork. I want your seal on me so if I do anything good-- You get the recognition. You get the praise. You get the glory. After all, I am just the vessel. You are the Creator.
Tonight I will take a night bus to Laos, a pleasant 17 hour drive to get my Visa taken care of. We will come back in a few days, Lord-willing. Pray that everything goes smoothly!

Meanwhile back at camp, much has been happening. Last fall, there was a great increase of violence in the camp, causing a lot of children to suffer from stress to the point that it actually affected their health. Also, there was a demon manifestation that was scaring some girls to fall into a deep trance, unresponsive to anything for a period of time. Praise the Lord that both situations are under control know. But please pray for the violence as shooting has started again-- not in our area, but we are right next to the Karen state with holds Karen Soldier bases in it. One is within sight of our camp. That is why there were bombs going off last time I was there. Also, pray for the children, the girls especially they are both very afraid of ghosts and have trouble sleeping still. Ghosts here aren't just something in movies, they are a reality. Please pray that God can give the girls strength and courage to know that Satan has no power over them and is not deserving of our fear.
Also, a week before I arrived, a boy was found down the hill from the camp that was missing his eyes, with his head cut off. This is common in Thailand. When new buildings or monuments are built, they need a sacrifice to dedicate it, and children's eyes are in high demand to appease the spirits. It is less common out where we are at, but obviously, it happens. The children all saw the boy. Please pray for the whole situation.
Also, a man with a machete came to the girls' dorm one night. Now the girls and boys have whistles in their dorms and a bucket to pee in so they do not have to be outside at all when it's dark. None the less, there is a spirit of fear. Pray we can overcome that.
This is one of the reasons why I am needed. When foreigners (white males especially) are there, the risk decreases drastically.

Since I've been at Shekina Children's home, I have taught English and Math to the KGA (kindergarden), shared in worship time, help with medicine time, bought groceries, washed clothes, disciplined, played, loved... When Zaida is gone, I am the overseer of the camp. I have keys to everything, give money to the cook for veggies, make sure chores get done, toys put away, kids get up and go to bed on time, etc etc.

Zaida, the woman who stays there full time, is going to be gone for the month of April. My cousin, Nina, a man from the States, Matthew, and a girl from England, Liz, AND a Mennonite team from the States will all be coming and going during that month. Pray that we all flow well together, get along and get work done! There is alot to do before school starts! We need roof extentions before the rainy season. We need a fence around the whole camp for extra protection for the children. We need to move the fish pond. Also, we are having a two week VBS in April that will have probably about 50-60 kids all sleeping, eating, playing at Shekinah. Needless to say, its going to be a bit crazy. Prayers for that would be much appreciated!

School starts in the end of May. We need to find a new KGA teacher that is Karen (since the young ones only know basic English and its hard for me to teach them effectively). There is no one else to help Zaida and she will be traveling alot since she has many responisibilities. She likes having me there since I am familiar with the rules and routine of the camp, as well as how to work the transportation system and the people we buy goods from are familiar with me. She is then able to get her other duties done with peace in her heart. She has been such a blessing to me since I've been here! She is a remarkable woman who loves to love but has a fiery spirit and good sense of humor. It is a joy to learn from her.

In my extended stay, I will also get to possible shadow the woman who funds the camp and travel with her to some other places, as her ministry funds many, many people from many, many tribes. She is such an inspiration to me! I loved working with her last year and pray I get to know her more this year as well! She is a small woman, but has a commanding presence but an amazing heart. She also said that when I needed a holiday, I can come stay with her at her house, removing the cost of food and living on my breaks. What a blessing!

Most importantly, I get to spend 6 months with my kids! I can spend more time dedicated to learning their language and connecting on a level with them that is so much deeper than if I only stayed for 3 months. It is rare for people to come that long, so I pray this can allow them to know how much they are loved and how much they matter. Hahah I can't wait to see their faces when I tell them!

Thank you all so much for your prayers and support and interest in God's work here in Thailand! What an adventure God has given me! What an honor to get to experience Him more in this way.

God bless you all!!
Kelsey

The New Plan

Praise the Lord, I have my passport safely in my possession!!! And a solution to the Visa problem has been found. I will fly out on Thursday, February 23rd and stay in Thailand for 30 days. Then I will go to Laos for a day or two, apply for a 60 day Visa from there, then return to Thailand until May 15th when I fly back to the U.S. This is the easiest and cheapest option (should cost $300 or less).
However, with the new expenses of the lost passport and trip to Laos, and the two short airplane tickets I have yet to buy, my funds are running low. Thank you SO MUCH to all who have supported me so far!! We have completely covered the cost of almost all my flights. We are hoping for $800 to cover living expenses in Thailand and any other surprises that come up (as they always do in foreign countries). Pray that the money comes in! Money is such a small thing to worry about when my God is SO BIG! Please pray for funds and faith without doubt!

Matthew 6:25-27  “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?


My excitement is drastically increasing as the weeks turn to days and the days turn to hours... My heart is flooded with a mixture of joy to see my beloved children again, fear that I won't be able to protect them as they need, and nervousness that I am not qualified enough in teaching/medical training to give them what they want. But God has overwhelmed me with His LOVE and GRACE, and that is something I can show them. May my heart be overflowing with the peace and joy of Christ Jesus so that I may love these children, these people, with no barriers. They deserve all of me and I want to hold nothing back. 


Romans 6:13-14 Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.


I am foolish. I am unqualified. I am weak. Why God would choose to use me, I do not understand. But God continues to ring in my head and my heart that in my weakness HE IS STRONG. May the overlying theme of this blog and my life be that nothing good can come from me-- but only GOD IN ME. He ALONE gets the GLORY. He ALONE gets the PRAISE. Any good thing I do is not to my credit. Thank you Lord Jesus for choosing this humble servant to worship you in this way. My hands, feet, heart, and soul are yours to use. I pray you use them both now and forevermore. 


Philippians 2:13 Yes, it is God who is working in you. He helps you want to do what pleases him, and he gives you the power to do it. (easy-to-read version)


Isaiah 43:10-13 “You are my witnesses,” declares the LORD, “and my servant whom I have chosen, so that you may know and believe me and understand that I am he. Before me no god was formed, nor will there be one after me. I, even I, am the LORD,and apart from me there is no savior. I have revealed and saved and proclaimed— I, and not some foreign god among you.You are my witnesses,” declares the LORD, “that I am God.Yes, and from ancient days I am he. No one can deliver out of my hand. When I act, who can reverse it?”

Prayer Request

Due to some problems with things getting lost in the mail, I will not be able to purchase a 3 month Visa before my February 23rd departure date. We are trying to find out if I can get a Visa once I am over there, or if I need to move my departure date back, or even shorten my trip. The last two options are both ones I would like to avoid if at all possible. Please pray that we can find a solution to this problem. I have emailed all my contacts both here and in Thailand explaining the situation. Pray that they respond quickly so we can prepare here accordingly.
Thank you so much friends.
God bless,
Kelsey

Faithful

Faithful:
1. Adhering firmly and devotedly, as to a person, cause, or idea; loyal
2. Having or full of faith.
3. Worthy of trust or belief; reliable
4. Consistent with truth or actuality


Faithful. Be faithful. Words we hear so much, we forget what they actually mean. 
The God we serve-- the Creator, the Savior, Provider, Warrior, Prince of Peace-- He is Faithful. 


Psalm 111:7 "The works of His hands are faithful and just; all His precepts are trustworthy."
II Thessalonians 3:3 "The Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one."
Deuteronomy 7:9 "Know therefore that the LORD your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love Him and keep His commandments, to a thousand generations."

God has given me a heart for the children at a tiny refugee camp in Thailand. Before I even met them, I loved them and cried for them and prayed for them. Now they are my family. God was faithful to me-- beyond measure-- during my time at Shekinah Children's Home, and now I choose to be faithful to Him, and to you, my supporters and prayer warriors. You have put your faith in God's call for my life. Though I am weak, God is strong, and I know that what He began in me, He will finish.  

From February 23 to May 14, I will be in Thailand to teach, preach, play and love on these kids that God has given me the privilege of knowing. I have just purchased airplane tickets and things are falling into place. The joy in my heart is starting to make me feel like I am burst with excitement. 

Now I am putting my faith in you, my brothers and sisters. I have enough money to fly over, but not enough for living expenses, luggage, supplies and presents, unexpected expenses (ie bringing kids to the hospital, bribing soldiers, paying for meals, etc.). My banker, aka my mother, is requesting and praying that I can raise $1500. 

There are some changes with this trip that you should be aware of: I am not flying under an organization though I will be in contact with two. Therefore, if you feel called to support me financially, you can send it straight to me. I realize that some people are not comfortable doing this. I understand. Please pray about it and do what you feel God tells you. Most importantly I ask for prayer for me, the kids, the happenings across the border, the teachers who get a break due to my coming, the new people I will meet and make connections with, the problems we will face, the opportunities for growth, etc. 

This is a life-changing opportunity; I pray you share it with me so we can grow in heart together. 

I Samuel 12:24 "Only fear the LORD and serve Him faithfully with all your heart. For consider what great things He has done for you."


Matthew 25:40 "Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me."


My contact information is: 
Kelsey Erickson
109 Alliance Way
Missoula MT 59803
erickson.kelsey@gmail.com
406 396 2958


Psalm 115:1 "Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!"

I was reading Lamentations this morning and couldn't help feeling overwhelmed with the burden people place on themselves through rebellion towards the truth. Lamentations 1:1b-2 says "She who was like a princess among the provinces has become a slave. She weeps bitterly at night, with tears on her cheeks; among all her lovers she has none to comfort her..."
Hopelessness. It's heartbreaking. Loneliness and fear, feelings of worthlessness-- these are lies girls put on ourselves. These are lies Satan plants to keep us always feeling like we are incomplete without constantly searching for a man to finally love us and treasure us like we are the most precious gift in the world.
Yet there is no perfect man, and he cannot complete us. So we're left searching again, and sacrificing until we are too weak to keep a spark of hope.
When I was 19, I started helping in my church's youth group. I remember one Sunday morning sitting in church with some youth girls and one leaned up against me and put her head on my shoulder. It was an overwhelming feeling to know that someone could place their complete trust in me and feel safe in my embrace. God spoke to me in that moment and told me that this-- working with girls-- is what He wanted me to do. This was my purpose. And I was given a greater peace than I have ever felt. This desire to work with girls and teach them about their worth and their beauty has not faded. Rather than be remembered, I would rather have the lives of these girls changed by them seeing themselves through God's eyes and finding their worth-- their completeness-- in Him.
I am planning on flying out for Thailand on February 23rd to work at the children's home and refugee camp once again, this time for a three month term. There are kids here from the ages of 5 to 19, all who have been told they are worthless-- that their life has no hope.
Please pray for these people-- the millions of refugees who are persecuted for just being part of the wrong tribe, having the wrong accent, skin color, etc. Please pray that they feel the love of Christ poured onto them. Please pray for them so I can tell them that they are not forgotten-- they are not abandoned! That their American brothers and sisters love them and care about them enough to set aside time to pray for their health, families, lives.
Please pray for me that I can be the woman they need, and the woman God has called to me. That I don't get distracted by unhealthy things. That I see myself as God sees me so I can help these beautiful sons and daughters do the same.

I have recently been told about a Christian beauty shop/daycare opening up in the red light district of India. I want to go SO BAD. Being able to form a relationship with these women and teach them about the truth... give them light in their darkness... let them see how beautiful they are and how much God desires them to the point that He would send His own beloved Son to die for them... they they are wanted, loved, complete in Him.
There is a possibility I will get to at least visit, if not stay for a month or two, at the shop. Please pray that I can go, and if I can that I can learn as much as possible so I can return (Lord-willing for a long term aka 1-2 years) and be prepared mentally, spiritually, and occupationally.
I am so humbled that God would honor with these opportunities. My life will fade away, my name will be forgotten, but for as long as I am here on earth I want the name of Jesus to be glorified through my actions and my love.

If anyone would like more information or to ask any more questions you can email me:
erickson.kelsey@gmail.com

This is a song God has continually put on the radio whenever I am feeling worthless and alone. I pray it brings you the same hope and peace it gives me.

Days will come when you don't have the strength
And all you hear is you're not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart
They'd see so much

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful

Praying that you have the heart to fight
Cuz you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you've held inside so long
But they are nothing in the shadow of the cross

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You're beautiful, You're beautiful
You are treasured, you are sacred, you are His
You're beautiful

Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You're the one He madly loves
Enough to die!

You're beautiful, You're beautiful
In His eyes
(MercyMe)